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My Near Death Journey

This is a huge work in progress, so please stay tuned. This blog will include my pneumonia, sepsis, tracheotomy, amputation, my hospital stay for 43 days in ICU, nutrition and recovery. It has been one hell of a journey, and I am finally ready to tell all about it.

This is my real life story. It has a lot of ups and plenty of downs… But, I am alive and on the road to recovery. Thank you for reading, tons more to come!!

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Please read… My interview with Diane Atwood “Catching Health”

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by Diane Atwood, a former health reporter for WCSH 6 in Portland and now writes her own blog about health and wellness called “Catching Health.” Please check out her blog.

Here is her story from our interview… Some of the details have not been shared until now. She is the first to write about my near death journey… Please read.

Dana’s near death experience

 

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Days leading up to July 17, 2018

Guest Writer
 

These comments are from Messenger.
 

July 14, 2018
 

9:18 a.m. BF wrote: She has been hacking and coughing last few nights and still complaining of her rib but she doesn’t listen to me…maybe some mom advice will help?

11:29 a.m. BF wrote: Have you spoken with Dana today? I’ve tried calling a few times to see how she is feeling but no answer.

12:49 p.m. I replied: Took forever but she came to the door. Her feet hurt her. She doesn’t want to go to Urgent Care. I will check later to see if she’s changed her mind.

 

July 15, 2018

10:36 a.m. After his own trip to Urgent Care with Dana, for his bronchitis, I brought Dana back to Urgent Care for her bronchitis and told BF: Doctor at Urgent Care refuses to prescribe anything at all until she is seen at the hospital. She refuses to go to the ER. Keep an eye on her. If she’s non responsive, it’s an ambulance ride. Tell her.

 

7:49 p.m. BF wrote: Seems to be feeling better.

I wrote: Good. She should be scared about her health.

BF wrote: Until the middle of the night and morning when she has her issues.

I wrote: Only she can help herself heal. She needs to drink more water. Being dehydrated is bad for bronchitis. I’ll bring over bottled water tomorrow on my lunch break.

 

July 16, 2018

6:24 a.m. BF wrote: She’s saying she can’t breathe. Can you bring her to ER?

I wrote: I just called her and she refuses to go to ER. Call an ambulance if it gets bad. Or call me.

BF wrote: Okay, thank you. She called me at work and said she couldn’t breathe and then when I got home I rushed upstairs and said, “Okay, I’m taking you to the hospital,” she flipped out.

I wrote: She will probably have to go to the hospital today, but she has to either be unconscious and via an ambulance or willing to go, according to the laws.

11:57 a.m. I brought groceries to Dana’s apartment for her and her BF’s daughter and step-daughter, during my lunch hour. When I left, the landlord was waiting in his car outside. The landlord told them to move out.

7:26 p.m. BF wrote: She’s still out of it, but refuses to go.

 

July 17, 2018

1:30 a.m. BF wrote: She needs to go to the hospital in the morning. She says she won’t go without you. She asked me to come home from work and I can’t.

I wrote: I just talked to her. I don’t understand why she doesn’t want to go now. It was difficult to understand her.

BF wrote: Not sure.

 

Please see my earlier post about what happened on July 17, if you haven’t read it already. Click here.

July 17, 2018

8:26 a.m. I wrote: She’ll be here for five days at least. She is sedated because of the breathing tube. Severe pneumonia. The doctor said it has a 50 percent mortality rate and that she is very, very, very sick. The nurses are putting a central line in her neck. The doctor is worried about kidney failure.

BF wrote: Is she still awake?

I wrote: She is not awake and won’t be awake for two days.

12:30 p.m. I wrote: She will be on antibiotics for at least eight days. Sounds like the doctor wants to keep her in ICU for that long.

2:15 p.m. I wrote: Her feet and fingers were turning really blue until they put the breathing tube in. She is also malnourished.

BF wrote: OMG, are you guys back at the hospital?

I wrote: Not yet. It’s upsetting to her to not be able to talk to us. She was only partially sedated earlier because her blood pressure dropped too low. Her oxygen went up to 95 with the tube inserted. Her phlegm is bloody. Her body temperature dropped to 94 so they put warm blankets on her. Her hands are in restraints so she doesn’t pull the tubes and wires out. There was zero alcohol in her blood when she was brought in. She also was seen by a lung specialist today.

BF wrote: Yah, she had a couple sips. There will be zero alcohol in this house from now on.

4:12 p.m. I wrote: We are heading back over to the hospital. We haven’t heard anything.

BF wrote: Tell her I will be over. I hope I’m not a big baby when I walk in.

I wrote: I’ve been crying there all morning.

7:18 p.m. BF wrote: Her blood pressure is back up to 110/62. They started her on a third blood pressure medicine to get her there.

I wrote: It will be a blur in a few days. She’s where she needs to be. What did you think of all the drugs she is on?

BF wrote: She’s on a lot of them. Drugs for drugs, one drug to help another.

9:07 p.m. BF wrote: They just gave her some anxiety stuff. The reason she is so sick is because she went septic. That’s when it goes beyond an infection.

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July 18, 2018

Guest Writer

These are notes from Messenger.

8:19 a.m. I wrote: We are at the hospital and she is sound asleep. The doctors are worried about her blue feet and fingers. The nurses are checking for blood flow in her feet.

12:21 p.m. BF wrote: They are doing an ultrasound of her belly right now. They lowered her pressers. She still has three but they cut the dose in half. Her blood pressure is holding steady. I got her left hand nice and warm and gonna switch to the other side in a couple minutes.

I wrote: Is the blue color going away?

BF wrote: The right hand not so much but things are looking good. They’ve given her a sputum test to see what specific antibiotics she needs. Also they suctioned her lungs. The secretion is still slightly red but not as bad.

I wrote: Is the pneumonia still expanding? Does she have any more air space?

BF wrote: The doctor said the pneumonia is roughly the same and her air space has increased a little. As soon as the antibiotic needed is narrowed down to the right one we should see a big difference. They should know in an hour or so. ECG machine was brought in to check her heart. It looks okay. The right ventricle isn’t working as good as the left but the doctor wasn’t worried. The nurses are hoping to take out the needles in her right hand artery this evening after they see if her blood pressure stays the same. The blood pressure cuff and the one in her wrist are reading roughly the same so they were very happy.

 

2:38 p.m. BF wrote: She’s anemic and the doctor said she may need to be transferred to CMMC for dialysis if it’s not better tomorrow. She needs to be urinating 30 ml an hour and she’s roughly producing 16 ml.

 

3:04 p.m. I’m back at the hospital.

 

5:56 p.m. I wrote: She’s sleeping pretty good. The nurses positioned her again. She produced 80 ml urine.

 

7:18 p.m. BF back at hospital. He wrote: She was kind of with it and communicated that she was in discomfort when she was asked. Her vitals are good. Urine measured 250 ml for the 12-hour shift so that was roughly 21 ml an hour. She looks super peaceful. They gave her more fentanyl.

 

 

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I Don’t Remember…

From the posts my mom wrote (Guest), I remember calling her, I remember her showing up at my apartment. I was barely dressed, so she had to help me put on clothes, I don’t even remember what I had on. I know she told me she had to go downstairs to wait for the paramedics to arrive and to stay put. Well, if you haven’t realized by now, I’m stubborn. So with all the energy I had left, I slowly descended the stairs on my butt (like you used to do as a kid) and I made it to the bottom of the stairs and I crawled to the couch. The paramedics came into my living room… I remember seeing a face and that’s it.
I thought it was a few hours later when I woke up in the hospital. I heard voices and I guess I responded to a few questions. I remember not wanting to have a tube shoved down my throat and my mom basically telling me I was going to die if I didn’t let the nurses/doctors do their jobs. I remember that clearly. That’s when I realized, I screwed up, BIG TIME!

After that, I was in and out, mostly out. They don’t call it a drug induced coma, but basically that’s the state I was in. I had some crazy visions. I know people don’t believe in “the white light” but I saw that three different times. I remember those vividly. I keep those to myself, but I am open to discussion at any time.

Once I finally came to and could sort-of comprehend what was going on, I still didn’t totally grasp my reality. Again, I knew it was serious, but I was still pretty out of it.

This is just a little bit of what I remember at this early stage.

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July 19-20, 2018

Guest Writer

NOTE: At the time of these events I did not have a definition for vasopressors. I thought staff was saying “pressers.” All I knew was that her oxygen levels were poor and so the pressors were being used to clamp down blood flow to her arms and legs and concentrate the flow to her organs and brain.

From the website everydayhealth.com comes this information: “This class of drugs can be lifesaving in emergency medical situations. Vasopressors are a group of medicines that contract (tighten) blood vessels and raise blood pressure. They’re used to treat severely low blood pressure, especially in people who are critically ill. Very low blood pressure can lead to organ damage and even death.”

Dana not only had pneumonia but had developed septic shock.

From the MayoClinic.org comes this information about sepsis: “Sepsis is a potentially life-threatening condition caused by the body’s response to an infection. The body normally releases chemicals into the bloodstream to fight an infection. Sepsis occurs when the body’s response to these chemicals is out of balance, triggering changes that can damage multiple organ systems. If sepsis progresses to septic shock, blood pressure drops dramatically. This may lead to death. Sepsis is caused by infection and can happen to anyone.”

Pneumonia is a top cause of sepsis.

From Sepsis.org: “Sepsis can do a lot of harm to your body. From shutting down the body’s organs to causing blood clots that block the flow of blood, sometimes the damage is irreparable.

“With sepsis, the blood’s clotting mechanism can go into overdrive and cause blockages inside the blood vessels. When blood can’t pass through the blood vessels, oxygen and vital nutrients can’t get to the body’s tissues. If the tissues can’t get the nourishment they need, the tissues die.

“When too much of the tissue dies, it has to be removed. Sometimes, doctors can remove just a small part, but other times, more drastic measures must be taken and parts of the body must be amputated.

“For some people, amputations are limited to their fingers or toes, or parts of them. Others, however, may need amputations of their hands, feet, even arms or legs, all in an effort to save their life.”

Comments are from Messenger:

July 19, 2018

7:54 p.m. BF wrote: I just called ICU. Her temperature has gone down to 99.3. They are going to check it again now and then. Hopefully they will do a transfusion. She’s still on the two vasopressors. They went up a little in the dose on one, but besides that she is doing good.

 

8:58 p.m. Just talked to nurse. He said her temperature went down then back up so they have not given her the transfusion. They have cool wash cloths on her.

 

July 20, 2018

 

6:09 a.m. BF wrote: I called the hospital. Dana got the transfusion. She’s almost down to one vasopressor.

I wrote: I just called the hospital and got the same news you got. She is stable but they still have concerns.

 

8:16 a.m. BF wrote: Do her toes and feet look better? Jeff said the nurses wrote with marker on them.

I wrote: I think they look better but had hoped her skin would be pinker.

BF wrote: After the vasopressors are removed there should be a big difference in her skin color.

I wrote: I’m worried about the sedatives she’s on and taking her off them to see if she becomes alert.

BF wrote: You’re worried that she’s been given too much sedative medication? She doesn’t take medication normally so it probably has hit her way harder.

 

1:44 p.m. I wrote: Her feet are purple but they got a pulse. They are going to do a CAT scan to look for brain activity to see if there’s a reason she’s not alert. There has been a slight improvement in her pneumonia. Her numbers are good. Her temperature is 98.3.

 

5:02 p.m. I wrote: She did not have a CAT scan because the neurologist isn’t available to interpret it and an interpretation of it today won’t make a difference in her treatment now. Top priority is to get all her bodily functions stable. They are repositioning the breathing tube. She has new boots on that keep her heel off the bed and flex her foot so when she is mobile she doesn’t have to overcome atrophy.

BF wrote: Do her eyes look any better?

I wrote: Not much better. The nurses put ointment on her eyes.

 

8:53 p.m. I wrote: Dana still has a fever so she was given Tylenol. Her awareness/alertness has not changed. The plan is to get her off the blood pressure medications and give her more Lasix.

 

 

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Notes from July 21, 2018 #neardeathexperience

Guest Writer

July 21, 2018

Dana has been in and out of consciousness since she was first sedated for the intubation. The vasopressors have turned her fingers and toes even more purple than when she was brought in to the emergency room and they were bluish. At one point she had four vasopressors running into her body via IV. These vasopressors keep her heart rate from plummeting too low and they clamp down the blood vessels running to her extremities so that her brain and internal important organs have a good flow of oxygen.

My notes from Messenger:

9:30 a.m. Spoke to the kidney doctor who seemed to think her kidneys are okay and that she won’t need dialysis. Her numbers look good (oxygen, heart rate, blood pressure). The blood flow is returning to her hands and feet. Her urine flow is good. The nurses were turning her over so we stepped out.

12:53 p.m. They are giving her more Lasix. They are working on a nutrition plan for her. Her oxygen level fell after they moved her. But it was at 100 percent when I left. She was agitated and trying to communicate with the oxygen tube down her throat so they gave her a short-lasting sedative, something that would clear out quick.

5:31 p.m. Her blood pressure is dropping.

8:58 p.m. BF wrote: They lowered the oppressor to 6 from 10. Her blood pressure is 108/76. Oxygen is 96. Heart rate is 107. Dopamine was dropped down to 2 again.

NOTE: This info is from WebMD.com. The monitor with all the wires attached to Dana provided the numbers for her heart rate (typical healthy adult beats 60 to 100 times a minute); blood pressure (top number is systolic pressure and should be between 100 and 130, and bottom number is diastolic and should be between 60 and 80); respiration (resting adult typically breathes 12 to 16 times a minute); and oxygen saturation shows how much oxygen is in your blood on a scale up to 100 (typically 95 or higher, anything below 90 means your body may not be getting enough oxygen). The monitor would flash and sound a warning when levels dropped below normal. “One of the most common reasons an alarm goes off is because a sensor isn’t getting any information. This might happen if one comes loose when you move or isn’t working the way it should.” That often happened to Dana because the sensor was at times clipped to an ear or a nostril. Later, when she was not sedated, it occasionally was clipped to a finger. The sensor often slipped no matter where it was placed.

During the early days of her hospitalization, in addition to being sedated, Dana was in restraints so that she wouldn’t pull the oxygen tube out of her throat or any of the wires.

10:14 p.m. BF wrote: They are thinking of shutting down the dopamine as a trial.

NOTE: Dopamine is a vasopressor.

10:41 p.m. BF wrote: Okay, they are putting the dopamine on hold to see what happens. Her blood pressure dropped to 97/58 with the oppressor IV turned off.

NOTE: The MayoClinic.com site states: “Most doctors consider blood pressure too low only if it causes symptoms. Some experts define low blood pressures as readings lower than 90 systolic or 60 diastolic. A sudden fall in blood pressure can be dangerous.”

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Dates between July 21st-25th

I don’t remember too much between this time period. My mother and BF and doctors and nurses kept me informed as to what was going on, but I don’t recall having too many lucid memories.

I knew that I couldn’t talk and I was so frustrated not to be able to communicate, and if you know me, I LOVE TO TALK! There were a lot of head nods an blinks to try to communicate with anyone. My hands were still restrained because I would try to pull the tubes from my face, nose or neck, so that made writing difficult as well. And to top it off, my hands and feet were in a lot of pain from the lack of blood flow.

The nurses repositioned me to make me more comfortable, but with all of the fluids they had to pump into my body, I blew up so fast and it was extremely uncomfortable no matter how many times they tried.

I remember one of the times that I woke up and the doctors and nurses were standing around my feet, discussing the appearance and possibly the actions they would have to take… they marked up my feet and left it at that. The word amputations was used, but only in a worse case scenario. I was ready for what I had to deal with.

Again, I was still pretty in and out of it, so there isn’t too much I can remember during these few days. I knew my nightmare wasn’t over.